Hurricane
by shannyfish
Summary: Maxwell Lord takes Alex on an unexpected trip that will change her life. #11 - Count Me In series
1. Peru

" _Love, she thought, must come suddenly, with great outbursts and lightnings,-a hurricane of the skies, which falls upon life, revolutionises it, roots up the will like a leaf, and sweeps the whole heart into the abyss." ~ Gustave Flaubert, 'Madame Bovary'_

* * *

It was bright and sunny as they walked.

The perfect day.

Alex wasn't sure what exactly they were doing, but this was what they'd been doing all week. He'd seemed almost distant and that was worrying her. It was almost like he was shut down inside, but she didn't understand why. They'd been getting on fine and she thought they'd been making some progress in their relationship. They were still wearing the rings and they were taking things slowly, but she didn't think that that was a bad thing. He hadn't said anything differently and had seemed nothing more than understanding. So, she didn't understand his silence or his distance this morning. He looked exhausted, but she didn't think that would keep him from talking to her.

"Is something wrong with your coffee?" Alex finally asked.

The walk of silence was killing her.

Max seemed to snap out of whatever was distracting him or distancing him. Whatever it was and he looked at her in confusion. "No."

"Well, something's on your mind," she told him as she raised her eyebrows at him. She reached out, her hand on his arm, and Alex purposely stopped him. " _Talk to me_."

They were supposed to be able to talk to each other.

"Alex," he whispered, almost helplessly. He was suddenly looking around before he took her hand and pulled her in the direction of a bench. Max sat down first and looked down at his cup of coffee for a full minute like he didn't understand what it was.

Whatever was on his mind, it had Max out of sorts. It wasn't like him to just tell her. He'd told her plenty of times that he couldn't stop thinking about her or that he was having a hard time because of what had happened. How was this different? She knew that she had people to talk to and he had, well, her. That didn't mean that he stopped knowing how to talk to her. She stared at him and slowly sat down next to him.

Alex went to open her mouth, to tell him to spill it already, but she closed her mouth and instead covered his hand with hers. She waited, in silence, and just hoped that he'd talk. She had to go to work and J'onn would be expecting her...but this was important too. J'onn could start working on Lucy's training without her (after all, it wasn't like the Army hadn't trained her at all and they'd already been going at it for a couple of weeks now).

They were both just quiet and Alex occasionally sipped her coffee as she watched the people going past them. She glanced at her watch here and there, she was just waiting for the text wondering if she was still alive. She'd been home for a month now and J'onn was still in overprotective mode...or maybe he'd always been like that and ever since things had happened she'd just really realized that he had that mode when it came to her.

"You have work," Max whispered.

She looked over at him as she squeezed his hand. A sad smile graced her lips and she was quiet for a moment. Sometimes, it was better to let the silence speak, but he was also right. Alex really needed to go, but at the same time she wanted to be there for him. "So do you…"

"I won't be able to work with this in my head…"

"So, talk to me," Alex urged gently and sincerely. She scooted closer to him until their hips touched, set her empty coffee cup at her feet, her arm wrapped around him, and she pressed a kiss to his temple. "I'm here."

"I don't know how you'll take it."

That had her worried.

"So, just tell me."

"Alex-"

She looked right at him, one arm still wrapped around him while her other hand squeezed the hand she held. Alex wasn't going anywhere until he told her what was going on, otherwise she'd worry all day and that just wasn't going to be good for anyone. " _Tell me_."

"Do you _trust_ me?"

"Yes," she said slowly.

And she did.

"Don't go into work today."

"Max-"

"Please."

"Why? You just-"

"I need to show you something," Max finally blurted out. "I can't just _tell_ you, I need to _show_ you…"

Alex just stared at him. He was definitely out of sorts and not himself. "Okay, let me check in...see if it's going to be a problem."

J'onn would let her, she knew that.

That didn't mean that she wasn't going to call in and talk to him. He'd worry and he'd likely want to see or hear her to make sure she was okay. Alex patted his hand before getting up. "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere." As she moved away from him, she kept looking back to make sure he didn't go anywhere. She was more worried about how he was acting than anything else. How she was going to explain this to J'onn was another, but he would understand. Alex just felt weird calling in and basically taking the day off because Maxwell Lord was acting weird and needed to show her something.

"Hey," she said when he picked up.

"Where are you?"

"It's a long story, but Max has been acting weird and I just couldn't leave him," she tried to explain quickly before glancing over to check that Max hadn't moved from the bench. "I don't know if he's snapping or what...all I know is that I don't feel right leaving him alone."

"Bring him in with you."

A smile brightened her. "You miss me that much already?"

"I worry about you."

"I know, but today is my day to worry about him," Alex explained. "I have you, Kara, and my mom...and he only has me. He says he needs to show me something...so, I just want to take the day off to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and possibly force him to sleep."

"Okay."

"You going to survive training without me?"

"Kara's assisting at the moment," J'onn informed her. "Apparently Cat's on some last minute retreat."

"I hope you at least put on the Kryptonite emitter," Alex reminded. She was fairly sure that sometimes he forgot because it was an even sparing match for him against Kara without the emitter on.

"It's on."

"Well, at least there won't be death by sparring to fill out."

"Hopefully," he mumbled all too seriously. There was a sigh. "Call me if you need anything. Just be careful, Alex...and take care of yourself."

"I will," Alex promised. "Talk to you later."

Slipping the phone into her back pocket, she turned to look at Max. He looked lost. Alex moved over to where he was and extended her hand to him. "Ready?" It took a moment for Max to take her hand and look up at her, but there was a light in him when he finally did.

* * *

Max drove, which Alex didn't really think was the best plan, but he'd been determined. So, the entire drive, she'd focused on him. If she'd seen any indication that something was wrong, she was ready to take the wheel. When they came to a final stop, however, Alex realized that she hadn't been paying attention to where they were going.

Airport.

A private one.

She got out with Max and stared at his private jet sitting there. She'd been so consumed and focused on Max and his state of mind that she hadn't even realized where they were going, if-

"I told them to deliver the files here," Max explained matter of factly and almost trance-like as he walked with purpose and his nerves almost seemed to drop away.

Alex just walked him, confused and concerned. " _What files_?" she just blurted still looking around. It wasn't like she didn't know about this private airport, she did. She'd been there before for DEO business. She just didn't understand what _they_ were doing there. Max didn't stop or answer her, though, he just headed up the steps and into his jet.

Frustrated and confused, Alex sighed before following him a moment later. When she got in the jet, she immediately sought out Max who was pouring himself a drink. "Max, _what files_? Why are we _here_? What _aren't_ you telling me?"

Something was going on.

"You wouldn't have _believed me_."

"Believe you about _what_?"

Max took a long drink before setting the glass down and turning his full attention to her. He was still absolutely exhausted and out of it. She could tell that. He still didn't seem right. It was worrying her, but there was so much irritation that was coursing through her now because he wasn't telling her what was going on. Alex hated being left out, she knew it was a control thing...but damn it, she _liked_ being in control and informed.

He took a step towards her and cupped her face in his hands. "I've been so happy and all I've wanted was to give you something…"

Alex blinked, he wasn't clearing anything up and she wondered if he realized that. "Max, you don't have to give me anything… I don't understand-"

"I searched for you," he explained. "I thought it would give me the answers you already had, but I was surprised when they actually yielding some unexpected results…"

"Searched...for me?"

He wasn't making sense.

The loud sound to her left caught her attention and she realized that the door to the jet was being closed and sealed. "No, I'm not staying!" Alex shouted, but the crew member seemed to just ignore her. Max pulled her back and anger flared in her. "What the _hell_ is going on?" she asked and on instinct and being completely done with the situation, she did what she was trained to do. She took his arm, pulled it from her own, twisted it until it was behind his back, and shoved him face first against the bulkhead. "Tell them to open the door!"

The sound of the engine starting startled her and she was even more determined to get off. She'd told J'onn she was going to keep an eye on Max and make sure he slept, she didn't say she was going to go God knew where with him! It wasn't like she had his or Kara's super power or flight where she could just fly herself back to National City.

"Max! Start talking!" she shouted at him and spun him around, releasing his arm but pushing his back against the wall. Alex was frantic and stressed. Whatever was going on, she wasn't going to have any part in it.

"The files," was all he mumbled as he vaguely pointed towards the chair nearby.

Alex released him and stalked over to the chair and saw the manilla folder there and flung it open. She stepped back as if it had attacked her, her eyes wide in disbelief. Looking over at Max, she was still confused but she didn't know how to feel all of the sudden. The anger start to subside. She dropped to her knees and started to finger through the pages of the file. "No," she whispered.

"I wanted to give you more answers," Max mumbled as he slid to the floor and then reached up and picked up his drink. Alex could only see the top of his head now.

She turned back to the file, one hand nervously up by her mouth, as she read through the papers. She hadn't even realized that they'd taken off until the jet bounced for a split second.

It didn't matter.

* * *

"Talk to me."

"I…"

" _Max_ ," she said firmly and also tiredly.

"I wanted to find his remains...or give you some kind of closure," he finally sputtered out. He'd had an extra drink or two. Alex knew that that wasn't going to help things, but once she got her answers...then he could finally sleep.

She looked down at the file in her lap. They were both sitting on the floor, backs up against the wall, and drinks in hand. Alex had stared at the picture of her father smiling back at her for the last fifteen minutes and even though she'd re-read over everything...it still didn't make sense to her.

"I knew that you and your father were close...and that he died because of his involvement with the DEO-"

"He died twelve years ago, Max," she whispered.

"That's what I expected to find," Max said. "I wanted to give you this closure...but then I got all of this… I sent down a private investigator down there. He talked to...to your father...and he doesn't remember who he is. He has some name that was given to him. He was in some kind of accident and ever since then...he's been travelling around Peruvian villages offering medical aid and they've been giving him food and shelter and whatever he may need… He's been basically living off the grid."

"It's been _twelve years,_ " she whispered. She looked at the article that had the most recent picture of her father, it was in black and white but he still looked mostly the same to her. Tears sprung anew as she thought about him alive. The article talked about how this man had helped save a village and though her father wasn't a medical doctor, he obviously remembered _enough_.

They sat there for so long and she was nearly asleep and she swore Max was already sleeping, his head on her shoulder. She didn't know what to feel. Was she angry? Yes. Was it at Max? She wasn't sure. She was excited and happy and yet there were conflicting emotions that were cancelling them out...and she was at the point of feeling fairly numb. "Max, why were you so worried about telling me this?" she whispered as her head pressed against the hull and she closed her eyes.

"I didn't want to lose you," was his slurred and sleepy response.

 _He had no one_ , she reminded herself, _only her_.

"Max," she whispered as she turned to him and pressed a kiss into his hair. "Giving me my father back...it's not going to take me away from you...only _you_ will do that."

He'd essentially kidnapped her.

She wouldn't forget that.

They were trying to figure out if they had chemistry beyond what was implanted in their heads...in those false memories...and she thought they'd been doing so well, but then there was this… He meant well, like always, but Max didn't seem to quite know how to go about things in the right way.

Right now, all they could do was sleep.

* * *

When they woke, they were on the ground in Peru.

"Max," she whispered. Apparently the crew hadn't thought it was necessary to wake them. Alex felt slightly hung over. She shook Max and then straightened herself up with a groan. She needed something for the dull pounding in her head and she needed to make calls. Alex wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was certain that she had to have at least missed texts if not calls as well.

"Al...ex?"

She sighed and rubbed her face before searching for her phone because it wasn't in the pocket she remembered leaving it. "Max! Wake up!" Alex told him, loudly but not screaming. Her head hurt too much to scream. "We're in freaking Peru…" She only knew that because they'd landed and she _assumed_ that they'd landed where apparently her father was acting as a medical nomad. She still wasn't pleased about being kidnapped, even given why Max had done it.

Could she forgive it?

She didn't know.

It was like he'd sobered up quickly for a second. "Peru? Wait...how'd we get to Peru?"

Alex got up, letting him fall to the floor without her to support his weight against her. He quickly recovered and looked more confused. She gathered up the file that had slipped from her hands when she'd fallen asleep and went in search of her phone. She had no idea if it would work there, sure she had international service but she didn't know if where they were had cell towers or wifi.

"Thank you," she whispered to herself when she spotted her phone and immediately grabbed it and clicked the 'home' button. The screen lit up giving her some very important information.

She had 20 missed texts.

She had 5 missed calls.

And absolutely no service.

"Please tell me this jet has a phone?" Alex nearly pleaded as she turned her head in the direction of a still out of it Max.

"Radio…"

No one knew where she was.

The GPS in her phone would still work...so she could just hope that they could track her...at least _so far_ with that. Then there was the fact that they could get footage of the airport and see that she was on one of Max's jets and get their flight information. Somehow, someway...Kara and J'onn would figure out where in the world she was.

Or at least she hoped.

In the meantime, though, she was still going to look for a phone that was capable of making a call. She shoved her phone into a pocket and put the file under her arm as she looked around. She wasn't going to wait for Max to sober up. She needed to do something...she was in Peru...she needed to find a phone...figure out exactly where in Peru she _was_...and then she needed to look for her father.

She grabbed a backpack that was there and opened it to find it stocked with water, snacks, and a map. She stuffed the folder into it and then slung it over her shoulder and pulled her arm through the other strap before looking over at Max. Right now, she couldn't feel more distant from him and that was hard. Alex took off her ring and laid it on the small table near where Max had fallen asleep again near.

"Goodbye, Max," she whispered before heading over to the door.

Jeremiah Danvers was out there.

She couldn't wait.

* * *

TBC…


	2. A Different Lifetime

Lucky for Alex, they'd landed near Cusco and so there were actually some people that spoke English and some spoke Spanish (though it wasn't exactly the same as she knew). All she was trying to do was find someone who might have seen her father or would send her in the right direction. The file had some information, but it wasn't enough. The hard part was that Alex didn't have any of the local currency with her. She hadn't set out to go to Peru that day or else she would have prepared...so much better.

* * *

"Do you think that maybe we can go on a trip?"

"A trip?" Jeremiah questioned with a smile. "Where are you thinking?"

"Somewhere far away. Somewhere that requires a passport," Alex said as her hands smoothed out the world map on the table between them. Her legs were tucked under her as she sat in the chair, poised over the map, destinations are her fingertips. "Tell me about places you and Mom have been."

"I want to hear about where _you_ want to go," Jeremiah insisted. "And then we'll have to work on getting you your very own passport."

"Egypt has pyramids."

"Egypt is good, but pyramids exist in other places in the world."

"Where?"

Her father just smiled at her. "Do you really think I'm going to make it that easy on you?"

"Research?"

"I was going to consider it father-daughter bonding, but I suppose... _technically_...it involves research."

Alex just grinned. She loved spending time with her dad, no matter what they were doing. Even though researching pyramids wasn't something that other kids were doing with their dads, she thought it was cool and something special. She knew that she was lucky, she knew other kids who didn't have a father or who didn't get to spend any time with their dad. Here she was, an only child (which she'd thought on and off was a bad thing until she got to be about ten and decided otherwise) with two parents that loved her and a father that was happy to explore anything that she had an interest in...just because it interested her.

"Someday, can we visit one of those pyramids?"

"I'd like that."

* * *

As Alex walked, she couldn't stop thinking about her father. It was easier to think about him rather than focusing on how upset she was with Max. No, right now...she needed to focus. As she walked though, this wasn't what she expected of finally getting to go on a trip somewhere else in the world with her father. Well, it wasn't _with_ -

* * *

"I think I've figured out the best vacation ever," Alex proclaimed. Maybe it was just because she and her father had gotten on a kick about pyramids and everything had gone on tangent from there or just because there was always a need for a vacation. Their family didn't go on them enough as far as Alex was concerned and definitely not far enough away.

Her parents both turned to her, they'd been sitting in the living room reading separately.

Of course, she was supposed to be doing her homework, but this vacation plan had hit her and she'd just gone with it. Alex couldn't help it, she thought that it was just what they needed. Sure, it had been based on something that mostly she and her dad had been doing together, but her mom could come...and enjoy it. Alex wasn't sure how thrilled Mom would be about it, but it would be fun and different and an adventure.

"Don't keep us in suspense," her mother said as she closed her book and waited.

"So, I was thinking we should go to Peru...and maybe some other countries in that same area...we should go and explore all of the places like Machu Picchu and the pyramids and we could go for the whole summer… It would be the best adventure! Think about it!" Alex was so excited about the idea, her words were bouncy and filled with how wonderful and perfect she thought it was. "I'm going to be going into high school before you know it and likely won't want to do fun family vacations like this," Alex added seriously.

"That's a fair point," Jeremiah agreed.

Alex beamed.

This vacation was going to happen for sure.

"What about the regional language?" Eliza brought up. "That's not even taking account to all of the different-"

"I've been working on my Spanish," Alex said with a shrug.

"You have?"

"Dad's been tutoring me," Alex explained. "And it's going to be useful for other things, too, other than being able to pronounce street signs properly…" She noticed her parents exchanging looks. "I'm just saying, it's helpful to know that a sign that looks like it should be pronounced jay-vee-air is actually ha-vee-air. I mean, who knew?"

"We live in California-"

"But we speak English and there are so many Spanish influences and it just makes sense anyways for me to learn Spanish, right?"

There was another exchange of looks.

"Eliza, you know that her learning another language is worth it," Jeremiah pointed out with a smile. "I mean, we should have really taught her another language earlier in life."

"Please, Mom?" Alex pleaded hopefully.

"Even if we can go to Machu Picchu or anywhere else, I think we have to think this through… It's more than just booking flights," Eliza explained gently.

"I need a passport."

"There's a lot of hiking involved and we've been a little lax in that particular area."

Jeremiah tilted his head and nodded. "Mom's right. I think we need to look at all the things that we _want_ to do...but we should also be training for the trip."

"And we should be educating ourselves about the cultures...customs...beliefs…" Eliza added.

That really didn't sound so exciting and it sounded like it was going to take five years before they'd be able to take that trip. Sighing, Alex's excitement immediately turned into disappointment and it showed as her face fell and her arms crossed over her chest as she shifted weight to mainly one leg. "But that's going to take so long…"

"Maybe a year," Jeremiah offered. He looked to Eliza. "A year is a good window."

Her mother seemed to think about it for a moment. "Agreed."

"Plus, that's honestly _a lot_ of money to save up for that big of a trip...and Mom and I _do_ have to arrange for time off in advance."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Not at all.

She looked away from them and thought about it. Maybe it just wasn't worth it. Maybe she should just give it all up and just settle for normal small vacations that they normally did. Alex just really didn't feel like the vacation was ever going to happen. Her parents were normally really good about keeping promises, but Alex just couldn't shake the feeling that they were just placating her with the future promise of this vacation.

"I'm going to go upstairs," she finally said with a sigh. "I have homework to do."

* * *

What she wouldn't give for cell service and GPS.

All she wanted to know was exactly how far she was from the village she was trying to get to. She'd stopped many times and though she was tired. It was warm, but it wasn't the heat that was getting to her, it was the humidity. She was absolutely not dressed or prepared for Peru. She'd been dressed for work and this was definitely not the environment she normally operated in.

So, Alex stopped again.

She reached into her shirt and pulled out her pendant and just held it as she sat there, thinking about Kara. She'd not gotten a call out to them yet. Kara and J'onn were going to be worried. This would be certainly a reason for J'onn's list for why agents needed to wear trackers at all times. Maybe he wasn't wrong.

Even though Jeremiah was _her_ father, she really didn't want to be _alone_ on this journey. Of course, Max hadn't _planned_ for her to be...but well, she wasn't going to dwell on that or get upset over what happened all over again. It wasn't worth it.

So, she thought about her mother and Kara… She thought about the family reunion that would come after she found her father. Of course, he apparently didn't remember anything, but Alex was certain that once he saw her...once she talked to him...it would come back to him. How could it not?

It had to.

* * *

"Go away!"

"Alex, come on!"

"You said you'd respect my boundaries!"

"You can't just shut your sister out of the room, Alex!" her father called back.

Alex huffed and crossed her arms as she sat on her bed. She glared over at the other bed that had invaded her space. As much as Alex wanted to hate Kara for falling from the sky and ruining her life, she couldn't...Kara was far too sweet for Alex to really have any hate for the girl. After all, it wasn't her fault that her planet...family...and everything that she'd known had been destroyed and she'd been sent to an alien planet… Alex knew all of that. That didn't make it easier to have this weird girl as not only a new member to their family, but a room mate.

"It's not fair!"

The sound of the door opening brought Alex's eyes towards it, but before she could say anything her father was already in the door and closing it with a hand up. "I don't want to hear about respect and boundaries because it's ridiculous for us to argue with a door between us. There's no need to shout or throw some tantrum."

"It's not a tantrum," Alex scoffed quietly as she looked away.

"Alex, I know this isn't easy…"

"Everything is ruined! Why can't just you and I-"

"You know that's not how a family works," her father said gently. She could feel his weight displace the surface of her bed as he sat on the edge. "I know that you were looking forward to going down to South America this summer...but we're just going to have to put it on hold-"

"Another _year_? We're _never_ going!" Alex snapped as she looked over at him. " _You're_ the reason I even _wanted_ to go! It was _our_ thing! Why can't it just be the _two_ of us? Mom can stay here with Kara. It'll be _fine_! They can bake cookies or whatever… Mom likes her better anyways…"

"You know that isn't true."

"It is! You see how she is-"

"That's just how your mother is," Jeremiah said gently. "She cares, Alex. She loves you. She loves you so much, Alex. You'll understand when you're a parent what it feels like when you love your child. She might love Kara, but it's different...I'm not saying it's more or less, it's different." He paused for a moment. "But I can tell you one thing for sure, you will always be our daughter…which means we will always love you."

"I'm still not happy," Alex grumbled.

"I know."

"It's not fair."

"You're _right_."

Alex was caught off guard by that. She stared at him for a long moment. "I am?"

"We've _always_ kept promises and tried to prove the importance of doing so," Jeremiah explained. "It _isn't_ fair." He was quiet again. "But I want you to think of how cool it might be to actually go on this trip next year _with_ Kara… You two will have time to get to know each other a little better and you know how she is...everything is _new_ here. The look on her face-"

"She lights up at stupid things," Alex admitted with a smile. Kara sometimes embarrassed her in front of others, but there was this unique awe that Kara saw in the world that Alex took for granted everyday. On Krypton, they'd had no birds. Alex couldn't even think of a planet with no birds. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She was quiet for a long time as she considered what he said. "So, next year?" she asked quietly and yet hopeful.

"Next year," her father promised with a smile.

* * *

Finally, Alex came upon the village (or at least she was fairly sure it was the village that she'd been searching for). She stayed back at first, not sure how this would go over. She was so rusty on the culture and customs and she certainly didn't know all the dialects. So, she slowly made her way towards it, armed with a picture of her father and hope.

Hope.

Faith.

She kept thinking of her mom and trying to explain it. How did you explain the twelve years you'd lost with someone you loved? Alex didn't know, but she didn't think it mattered. All that would matter would be that their family would be complete again and that her father would be home.

Family was all that mattered.

* * *

Alex was showing her father's picture around and trying to communicate the best that she could. Sure, people spoke Spanish in Peru, but there were also native languages that she didn't know that were spoken in the area, so she assumed they were speaking Quechua. The language barrier made things harder, but she just kept telling herself that if someone recognized the picture of her father that they'd point her in the right direction and language wouldn't be an issue.

Someone finally pointed her to a building and when she turned towards it, she sucked in a breath and felt like she couldn't breathe, unable to fully accept what she was seeing. Her father standing there, she swore it was him, more facial hair...older...and dressed differently, but it _had_ to be him.

Her father really was _alive_.

* * *

"Alex?"

She thought about yelling at Kara to go away, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Alex just lay there on her bed, still in the black dress she'd worn that day, curled up on her side hugging her 'The House of the Scorpion' book that she and her father never finished reading. Tears stained her cheeks and she just didn't feel like she had the strength to do anything.

Kara didn't leave, but instead, she laid down next to Alex, their backs to each other and they just lay there in silence. There was some comfort there. Comfort that Alex hadn't been expecting. Her father was gone and Alex didn't know how to process that or how her life would go on without him. How did the world keep on spinning without her father in it?

As Alex lay there, her mind wandered. It hit her some time later, after she didn't think she could cry anymore. Kara had lost another father. Suddenly, Alex felt so bad for her adopted little sister. All of the fits she'd thrown over the last year about Kara...that all seemed so stupid. Alex had lost her father, but Kara had lost him too…

Rolling over, she faced Kara's back. "Kara?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

Kara just rolled over to face her. It was obvious that Kara had been crying too and Alex likely just hadn't heard because she'd been crying as well and she hadn't been even taking in anything about the world past herself.

"I'm sorry," Kara whispered. "About your dad. He was a good man."

She was right.

He was a good man.

He had been the _best_ man.

Alex wanted to say something. She felt like she should as she stared at Kara, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything in that exact moment. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Kara and pulled her in for a tight hug. Sometime later, the most sincere words escaped her lips. "I love you."

* * *

As she moved towards him, he was talking to one of the locals, all Alex wanted was for him to look over...to see her...and to say her name. That's all she wanted, even though she knew that Max's private investigator had said that he didn't remember who he was. She paused for a moment, trying to force herself to breathe and to keep the tears that wanted to fall back. The last thing Alex wanted to do was to freak him out and be a mess.

Once he saw her, Alex knew that she'd stick out and she was at least looking forward to having a conversation with someone in English, being understood...especially in this instance. This had been a journey that she hadn't expected on taking, but as she took another step towards him...she couldn't think about what life would have been like being ignorant to the fact that her father was still alive in some other part of the world.

When he finally looked at her...and saw her...their eyes meeting, Alex found it so much harder to hold it together. Inside of her, the fifteen year old Alex who lost her father all those years ago just wanted to run to him and hug him and whisper all the things that she'd been unable to. Part of her wanted to comfort him and tell him that it was okay, that he was safe, and going home. None of that, though, would work here. Her father didn't remember her...his past...himself...and he wasn't being held against his will.

"Uh, hi," her father said, a small hiccup of a laugh in his voice, and took a step towards her. "Are you lost?"

"I, uh-" Alex sputtered. Was she lost? Sortive. She felt lost. She just stared at him and just didn't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" he asked moving towards her in larger steps, concern in his voice and all over his face.

"My name is Alex Danvers," she pushed out, her voice breaking a little bit.

"Danvers?"

A glimmer of hope filled Alex as her father repeated their surname.

"A man came to another village I was at and asked me if I was someone...something Danvers," he explained.

"Jeremiah Danvers," Alex said slowly with a nod, waiting to see what his response to that would be.

"Did you send him?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because Jeremiah Danvers is my... _father_ ," Alex pushed out. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest. "I'm his- _your_ daughter."

She could tell that that had caught him off guard. "I'm sorry," he responded. "I-"

"I know you don't remember-"

"I never thought that I had a family and I didn't know who I was," Jeremiah explained slowly. "I woke up in a hospital and somehow I knew the language...but I didn't have anything else on me-"

"Because the people you were in Peru with thought that you were dead," Alex whispered. "And you gave your picture of me and Kara...my sister...to someone who tried to help you." Alex wasn't sure how else to explain it to her father other than that. "His name is J'onn J'onzz and he promised you that he'd look out for us...and he has."

"I'm sorry...I don't know-"

"I know you don't remember," she said quickly, not wanting to ruin things. She had found him and he was alive. That was really all Alex could hope for in that moment. "But can I show you some pictures? Just see if it jogs your memory?" Alex questioned. "If you don't want anything to do with me after that, I promise I'll go and I'll just live knowing that you're alive somewhere and I hope happy?" Of course that wouldn't be easy. It would _kill_ Alex if she had to do that.

"Why don't we sit over here?" he suggested as he motioned to a bench outside of one of the buildings. He waited for her to sit first and then he sat down.

Alex pulled out her phone and was suddenly thankful that at least without signal she could still access her pictures. She brought up older pictures that she'd made digital about a year before after her mother had guilted her into coming home and digitalize all of the photos, back them up, and show her how to a program that she swore she already knew how to do.

The house in Midvale.

Her parents together, it was the last picture of just them together.

A few pictures of her when she was younger.

Pictures of Kara added into the family.

"You were both so young when-"

"When you left and never came back," Alex said gently. "That was a long time ago…"

"Does your mother know you're here?"

"No," Alex whispered a little sadly. "And neither does Kara...it was sort of a last minute thing…"

"Are you going to tell them about me?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Mom would book the next flight out here and search Peru for you."

"What's her name?"

"Eliza," Alex supplied. "Doctor Eliza Danvers."

"Doctor?"

"We're all technically doctors, well...not Kara…" Alex brought up. "You, mom, me...we're-"

"Alex?"

Max's voice caught Alex by surprise and she turned her head looking for him. She was furious with Max, but at the same time...her dad was alive. She only knew that because of Max. Getting up, she moved towards where she thought she'd heard him before. "Max?" she called back.

"Alex?"

"Who is it?" her father asked.

"Max, he is the reason why I'm here...he's the one who sent the investigator…"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Jeremiah asked from her side.

Yeah, how did one explain this to a dad that didn't remember you and you hadn't had a conversation with in so long? Alex just stared at him for a long moment, her mouth hanging open. "Uh-well, and-mm…" she muttered.

"One of those 'it's complicated' statuses?" Jeremiah questioned.

"Yeah," Alex gave in. That was honestly the best way that it could be put. She had no idea what to call it and she had no idea where it would go...if it continued. Alex already knew that she and Max were going to have a huge chat about communication, the definition of kidnapping, and possibly the need for counseling.

It was then that Max finally came into sight with a guide, Alex assumed that he hadn't somehow held another person hostage. "Alex!" Max proclaimed cheerily. There was talking between the man and Max (who obviously didn't understand) and was motioning towards Alex and Jeremiah.

"Are you married?" Jeremiah asked.

"What?" Alex blurted out in confusion as she looked towards her father.

"Yes," Max responded first.

"No," Alex said and then the look Max killed her a little. "Yes." She tilted her head and squinted a moment later. "Well, not legally…"

"You really were serious about the complicated status," Jeremiah mused. He nodded towards Max. "He's asking you for the money you owe him."

"Right," Max mumbled and was taking care of his guide, pulling out money from his pocket.

Alex turned to her father. "So, I guess this is it?" she asked, not really able to look at him. This was going to be hard for her to let him go again. Emotions welled up inside of her and all she wanted in that moment was Kara to hold her hand and to tell her all the ways why this was going to be okay for all of them. She reached to the chain of her necklace and yanked the pendant out, her finger stroked the edges of the teardrop shaped locket at first and then she saw something change on her father's face. "What?" she asked.

"Your necklace…" Jeremiah said.

"Yes?"

"I remember one, that same shape, but smaller...and different," he said.

Alex looked at it, not really realizing what she was doing. "Kara gave this to me," she explained. "To feel more connected to her...to the House of El…" As she stared at it, she remembered that Kara had come to Earth with a teardrop shaped pendant on. She wrapped her fingers around the pendant and it opened, Alex showed her father what was inside. "Kara isn't from...here...she's from another world...a world that was destroyed...and _she_ came here with a necklace...it has a dark stone in the middle of it...her mother sent it with her… You know her cousin, he's-"

"Superman."

"You remember?"

"Sort of…" he admitted and seemed to be cringing.

Alex looked over to see Max just standing back and giving them distance. "You helped him...before Kara came to Earth… That's why he asked us to take in Kara, he knew that we could be trusted and that we'd take care of her."

"I gave her the glasses...in that one picture, Kara has glasses... _I_ gave them to her, to help her," Jeremiah recalled slowly, obviously not sure if what he was making made sense.

"Yes," Alex said quickly and if it was a huge victory. "Yes, you gave them to Kara…to help her with her x-ray vision. It was going off all the time. Sensory overload."

He just stared at her for a long moment. "I can't remember you or your mother… I'm sorry…"

And for a moment, she felt a sense of defeat. Alex just wanted him to remember her, for her to be able to feel like she had her father back, for him to hug her. That's really all she wanted and needed. "It's been a _long_ time," she whispered, having a hard time not letting the disappointment show. "I just...I was hoping that you'd at least come home with me? See the house in Midvale-"

"The ocean."

Alex blinked. "Yes," she whispered and was trying to keep her hope level down. "Come with me, Dad. Please? To Midvale? To the house? To see Mom? To see Kara?"

"What about this Jones guy?"

She smiled at that. "That can be arranged, he'll want to see you."

"Does this mean we're going?" Max asked and seemed extremely hopeful. As Alex looked him over, she could tell that he was still hungover, but he was obviously also determined. "I've got a vehicle not far and a jet."

"I don't exactly have a passport," Jeremiah explained.

Alex looked over at Max with irritation. "Neither do I."

"I have it covered," Max assured.

Looking back at her father, Alex knew that she had to have hope. She reached up and squeezed her locket shut and just waited for some kind of response from him. Alex just didn't know how she was going to explain things to her mother or Kara if she went home without him. His brain was obviously remembering some minute things…that meant that there was hope for more.

"I need to get my bag," Jeremiah said.

"You'll come?" Alex asked, she was in shock just a bit. She'd been trying not to keep her hope up, but that wasn't an easy thing. This was all she wanted, for him to go home with them.

"I have to at least know what life I had...if there are memories that can be summoned...and maybe it'll help your family too."

It would.

At the very least, they'd be able to say goodbye if he decided to leave and go back to Peru. At least they'd have that closure. Alex wasn't sure if that would honestly be better, but it had to be, right?

* * *

"That's about the smallest bag I've seen for a guy who travels throughout a country as a doctor," Max commented as they neared the jet.

"I don't _need_ much," Jeremiah told him with a laugh. "I actually mainly just have it for postcards."

"Postcards?"

"I collect them," Jeremiah said. "I saw one at the hospital on a board. It was returned mail or lost or something, but I couldn't stop thinking about the picture of Machu Picchu on the front of it."

Machu Picchu.

Alex stopped and her chest seized for a moment. She couldn't breathe and she found herself reaching out for one of them, she didn't care which one, she just wanted to be steadied.

"I have ones with pyramids and other natural wonders of the region-"

"Alex? Alex?!" Max questioned and moved to her side, grabbing her. "Breathe," he prompted as her fingers dug into him and their eyes met.

And she did.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Jeremiah was fussing now.

How did she explain it to him? He might not remember her, but he did. "Before you left," she whispered. "It was right around the time we were supposed to start planning our trip to Machu Picchu...we were going to come out here for an entire summer," she whispered as tears fell. "We were supposed to go the year before after we'd researched and discovered all of these places...I'd even learned a good deal of Spanish...and then Kara came...and you and Mom said we had to wait…"

She watched as he clutched the bag in one of his hands. All of those postcards, he'd been collecting them for her all along and hadn't even known it. He remembered her, somewhere deep down, he remembered her.

"Let's get you home," Max suggested.

"National City," Alex told him after a moment as they approached the plane. She looked over at Max. "The DEO is probably looking for me."

"And your sister?"

"Yeah, well...I'll let you explain to J'onn and Kara how you kidnapped me when I was supposed to be taking care of you."

She didn't miss the cringe face that Max made in response.

"You two really are worrying me," Jeremiah voiced.

"It's a really long story," Alex said. "One that I will tell once you remember more...or at least we explain a little more…"

"I feel like everything is a long story."

"You're not wrong."

"What about Midvale?"

"I need to go to National City first. Check in at work, so that J'onn doesn't worry about me. Then, we'll head to Midvale...but I think Mom deserves a bit of a head's up… I don't want to give her a heart attack," Alex told him. "That'll give you some time to hear from J'onn and from Kara and see if we jog anything before we get to Mom."

"I'm a good listener…"

* * *

TBC…


	3. Danvers Family Reunion

They'd all slept during the flight home, but Alex was fairly sure that her father had slept the entire way from Cusco back to National City. At one point, Alex had noticed that they weren't alone, they had an escort, Supergirl was escorting the jet back to National City. Alex was certain that meant that they'd figured out what had happened, J'onn had known that she was with Max...so using cameras wouldn't have been hard to figure out certain things and eventually led them to the airport, which would have their flight plan.

"That can't be a good sign," Max muttered when he finally noticed Kara out the window. They were approaching the airport at that point.

"What?" Jeremiah asked. He'd not been awake for long, the announcement that they were preparing to land had woken him.

Alex pointed out the window. "Supergirl."

Her father got up and moved towards the window, the look of awe on his face. Alex couldn't even imagine what he must have thought. She wasn't sure if he remembered just bits or actually them, but either way...if he remembered Kara...that was so long ago and now here she was grown up, dressed in a cape with the House of El symbol on her chest, flying alongside them. She just smiled at she watched her father, the way his eyes brightened and his lips curled up into a smile.

"Alex," Max started quietly as he approached her.

Turning to him, she crossed her arms over her chest. "We've been gone for over two days now, Max, did you really think that there _wouldn't_ be people looking for me?" Alex asked. It was then that she remembered she was really the only one Max had, but that still didn't excuse his kidnapping of her and his weird behavior. "You should have talked to me, Max… J'onn and Kara could have helped us find my dad-"

"I realize I screwed up, Alex-"

" _Again_."

It seemed like it took Max a good long moment to process that and to accept it. " _Again_ ," he repeated with defeat. "Alex, you know _how I am_...you know I try to do what's _right_ -"

"But you _always_ screw it up."

She stared at him, fire starting in her eyes. As she stared at Max, she suddenly realized that _this_ was why it wasn't going to ever work between the two of them. They had been fooling themselves. There was no changing him. Alex knew that she couldn't be with Max how he was, how he'd acted...it wasn't fair to either of them to continue and hope.

"Face it, Max," she whispered sadly. "You and I-"

"Don't _say_ it!" he said a little more forcefully than he obviously meant. Max's voice softened and his face fell a moment later as he held out her ring in the palm of his hand. " _Please_ , Alex… Just _take_ it. _Wait_ a week. Give me _time_. Let me _prove_ -"

"You've already proved it, Max," she whispered sadly, refusing to take the ring. "You're too used to living in a world that revolved solely around you. If you're not the center of someone's attention, you don't know how to cope...and then you self destruct. I can't be part of that." She was quiet for a long moment. "If I could grant you peace of mind-"

"If you could let me inside your heart, let me share a fraction of your time," he breathed. "Let me stay by your side. I could be enough. _That_ would be enough.

Tears were brimming Alex's eyes as she stared at Max before reaching out to close his hand around her ring. "Max, you'll never be satisfied...not with _me_."

"Alex-"

Suddenly her father was clearing his throat and they both remembered he was there. She turned away and was certain that this had to be so confusing to him. It was confusing as it was to her and Max. She couldn't imagine what it looked like to someone from the outside who didn't know what had happened.

The jet was descending, she could feel it. "We should probably all take our seats," Alex finally said as she looked downward, but to the side. She could see both Max and her father in her peripheral.

* * *

"Alex!"

Her sister's hug was exactly what Alex needed. She closed her eyes and just held onto Kara. She was fairly sure that Max had insisted that she get off the plane first in order to dissuade threats. "I missed you," Alex breathed and then they separated in time for the sound of footfalls against the metal jet steps to be heard.

Kara must have thought that it was Max, because she started in as she swung around. "What do you think you were…" A gasp escaped her lips and Alex swore it looked like the wind had been knocked out of her sister. Alex grabbed Kara's hand and squeezed it. "Jeremiah," Kara whispered, a mix of sadness and relief in her voice.

"It's really him," Alex told her sister gently, just in case she thought she might be hallucinating. "But he doesn't remember…" She caught Kara's confused face for a moment, that was going around. "It's a long story and we can discuss it better at the DEO."

* * *

"This really isn't necessary."

Alex sighed and just watched as her sister pulled Max along and then finally put him back into one of the DEO cells, locking him in. No one had been pleased about Max deciding to kidnap her like he did, especially since there had been no head's up that they were leaving the country and where they were heading to. She wanted to feel sorry for him, but she just couldn't right now. She was still upset with him. So, she just watched from the doorway.

Max's hands pressed against the glass of the cell wall. "Come on! I'm the reason why your father is back in your lives…"

"You never quite know how to go about things, do you?" Kara countered. "I'm just relieved that Alex is okay."

"You should know that I would _never_ put Alex in danger."

And Alex believed him, at least not _intentionally_ put her in danger.

Kara was angry and she left the room and though Alex was ready to join her sister, she stayed for a moment. She kept her distance though. "We have to figure out how to live in this world now, Max," she whispered. Alex took a step closer. She was sad and she wasn't sure why. " _This_ is our life. I know you think that it can be something else, but you've proved time and time again that you are the _only_ priority. You never think of others first, even when you're trying to. I know you think that somehow we can make it work, but right now...I just don't see a way."

"Alex-"

"I'm not letting you out," she cut him off. "I agree with Kara. You need to be in here. A time out. You need to really think about things, Max. You're a danger in the state you've been in. I know you're lost, but you can't just keep going on with life how you have been...you're a danger to yourself, the people around you, and the world. You're just lucky that _I_ was the person you kidnapped."

"I hope that you and your sister get to reconnect with your father," was all Max said in response to that as he sat on the bench. He seemed quiet and resigned. For a moment, Alex swore he almost seemed at peace. Maybe he really did need the time out.

She turned and headed out once again.

"Hey, best of wives and best of women," Max whispered.

Alex stopped at that and waited for a moment.

"It was worth it."

* * *

"You okay?"

"No."

"You've not talked to anyone since you've gotten back and Kara's in with Jeremiah, so talk to me."

Alex looked up at J'onn and took a breath. Sometimes she wondered if it was a good thing that he could read minds. Of course, he also knew her well enough after working so closely together for the last two years. "I've been back for a while now and I tell myself that I'm fine… I do great with my job. Kara and I have our time together." She paused for a moment and looked down for a moment as she tried to think about how she was going to say what came next. Alex looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "And then I think about this life that was never mine...and there are these twisted pieces in my head...and I have these feelings that I can't seem to completely decide about when it comes to Max…" Tears fell and her voice broke. "And then I keep having these dreams about River...this little girl who-"

He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms and she was just thankful that they were somewhere private. She needed this. "You are the _bravest_ person that I have ever met, Alex Danvers," he whispered. "What you're going through, it isn't easy, but you're not alone…"

"I don't _feel_ brave right now, I'm just mess."

And that was the truth.

She sniffled and just held onto him.

"Don't worry about Maxwell Lord right now," J'onn told her. "Let him have this time to think about things… I think we can agree that he needs it. He'll be fine here. You focus on your family. _You_ have a lot of catching up to do with your father and trying to get his memories to return."

"I-"

 _"Go_ ," he told her as he pulled back, his hands on her upper arms, he just stared at her and a smile slowly crept onto his face. "You have the days, Alex, and if I need something...or an alien decides that it needs to try to end the world...you're not _that_ far…"

She smiled at that, it was somehow comforting, knowing that she wasn't completely pushed out of the loop. "I wish you were coming with us."

"I want to talk to Jeremiah for a few minutes before you go," J'onn told her. "I figured that even though we didn't spend much time together, perhaps it would be enough to help bring some memories to the surface."

Alex nodded. "Of course." She was honestly willing to try anything at this point, even if it was only to give her father back a handful of his memories. She knew it was selfish, but she just wanted him to remember them, just even if it was one memory of them all together. That's all she wanted and all she needed.

"You also should think about telling your mother first instead of just arriving home with your father after over a decade," J'onn pointed out.

"That... _might_...be a good plan."

"And _remember_ that I'm _always_ here for you, Alex. So, if you _need me_...I'm just a phone call away."

She moved forward and hugged him again, this time it was quick, but Alex just wanted to remind him that she hadn't forgotten him. He'd become the closest thing she'd had to a father over the last couple of years and just because Jeremiah was back, that didn't mean that she needed him any less. They were a _family_ and that was _never_ going to change.

" _Go_...call Eliza," he told her with a smile.

* * *

"I could drive-"

"No."

"Why-"

"Because I'm driving."

"I never-"

"You get to fly around and save the world, I get to drive," Alex told her sister quite seriously.

"You _might_ have a point."

There was a span of silence that Alex had tried to fill with music, but that didn't last for long.

"Are we going to discuss this Maxwell Lord?" Jeremiah asked from the back seat.

Alex sucked in a breath and tried to decide how best to respond to that. "He meant well-"

"Well, he _does_ get points for finding you," Kara said as she turned around to look at Jeremiah. "He just doesn't seem to know the right way of going about doing things the right way."

"Even in Peru, we knew of Maxwell Lord and his company," Jeremiah said. "From that alone, I don't think I like the guy...his company was supposed to bring certain technological assistance to the regions I traveled through to help with medicine and basic survival, but we never received it." Jeremiah was quiet for a long beat. His voice came soft and full of love, "but he _cares_ about you, Alex. Even _I_ can see that."

She knew that.

Max cared about her.

It wouldn't work though.

"He's like Icarus...who's flown too close to the sun."

No one had stated Maxwell Lord so perfected in a sentence.

* * *

The house in Midvale was exactly how Alex remembered it. It was always a shock to her that it always looked the same. The house had been repaired and repainted over the years, but her mother had never made any distinctive changes. Alex actually remembered that when it had been repainted, her mother had been slightly upset that the exterior new paint seemed brighter than it originally had been painted. Alex and Kara had thought it had looked the same, but her mother had been convinced.

She wondered if this was why.

 _If_ her father ever _did_ show back up, Mom wanted him to be able to recognize the house...for nothing to have changed in his absence. As she pulled the black SUV in alongside her mother's vehicle, she heard the familiar creak of the screen and she saw her mother peek out. They'd called ahead and her mother was expecting them...and their father with them, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Eliza…" Jeremiah breathed.

Alex looked over at Kara and then they both got out of the vehicle. She wanted to ask about every other minute if he'd remembered anything, if he'd remembered him. She watched her parents from the back of the SUV. It looked like a reunion from an old movie where the husband had been lost in war and then found some time later… Her mother stopped several yards away from the car, her father standing with the car door open, and the two of them just staring at each other like they were having some silent conversation. The looks on their faces though, it was worth it. No matter if her father remembered her or Kara, at least they had each other...because Alex swore that her father _did_ remember her mother.

A hand brushed hers, but she didn't look down, she just took it, knowing it was Kara's. The two of them just stood there and watched as the moment unfolded. They were silent, but there was this happiness on both of their faces and finally mom was the one to make the first move, running towards him and flinging her arms around him.

"Jeremiah," Eliza practically cried. "I dreamed of this day…"

They all had.

"It's been so long," Jeremiah said and Alex swore he sounded like he was going to cry, like he was all choked up. His arms were tight around her and they just stood there hugging each other.

It was truly something that dreams were made of.

After a few minutes, her mother held out her arms to them and Alex found herself being tugged by Kara and for a moment, as their family's group hug happened, Alex imagined herself as her teenaged self that had lost her father. She thought about how it would have felt to have him back after months...or maybe a year of thinking he was gone. But so many years had passed...and he'd been alive this whole time...he just hadn't remembered...and he still didn't.

It wasn't quite how she'd thought finding her father would feel.

* * *

"Eliza's making Jeremiah's favorites…"

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that," Alex told her sister quietly.

They were outside sitting on the bench that both of them had sat on multiple times with her father. Alex was just staring out at the water and wishing that he'd remembered more. She knew that was selfish. She remembered their agreement and she'd honor it, but now all she could think about was how heartbroken her mother would be if he decided to go back down to South America.

"He was asking where you went…"

"He and Mom-"

"But you're his _daughter_ , Alex…" Kara reminded. "You have been dreaming and hoping about this kind of a miracle to happen since the day they told us he was gone… How can you be so...distant?"

"I don't know," she whispered. A beat passed. "He doesn't remember me…"

"Um, I'm fairly sure those postcards mean something…"

"That was something _unconscious_ in him," Alex said as she turned to her sister, brushing it off.

"Maybe you just haven't given him a chance."

"I just-"

"Would it have been better if Eliza, you, and I had trekked down to Peru to find him? If Max had _given_ us that option?"

" _No_ ," she said, surprising herself. "I don't think it would have… I think it would have been harder… I think it might have broken Mom's heart…"

"You have a second chance, Alex...don't waste it," Kara told her sister.

Alex looked over at Kara, she scooted over and wrapped an arm around her before letting her head fall on her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you," Kara echoed.

* * *

There was helping Mom, which Alex hadn't intended on doing, but she sort of got roped into it. She'd been about to seek out her father and talk to him. That hadn't happened...and then dinner had happened, which had been awkward… Mom was extremely happy, which was so nice for Alex to see. Her mother had never really been sad, Alex didn't think that her mother ever felt like she could appear that way...though Alex had once heard her mother crying herself to sleep one night when she'd thought about running away...which had caused her to turn around and go back to her room. That was the only time she could remember that she could truly think of her mother as sad after she'd been told that Jeremiah Danvers was never coming back. She'd had to be strong for her and Kara.

So, Alex had just been happy for her parents. Her father had acted like he hadn't eaten in the more than a decade that he'd been gone. Apparently food tasted far different in South America or his taste buds were doing some kind of happy dance or something. Whatever it was, her father was eating like her mother's cooking was the best thing he'd had in his life...every single bite of it.

After dinner, she'd been roped into dishes...but Kara had gotten out of it...because well, the DEO called and Supergirl was needed. Alex had just wished that she could have convinced her sister to fly her off with her as well. It wasn't alien related, so Alex wasn't necessarily needed in that instance.

"Eliza? Do you think I can borrow Alex?"

Alex turned around to see her father standing there and for a moment she felt like her younger self. Like she had stepped back in time. He was greyer...there were a couple of wrinkles...but he was still so much her father.

"Of course," her mother said cheerily. "I've not let you talk to the girls hardly at all the entire day, have I? Go on."

Alex looked to her mother, who took the dish from her hand and nudged her towards her father. She didn't argue and instead and moved towards him. "Why don't we go outside?" she suggested. Her mother would likely try to eavesdrop and Alex honestly just wanted to be able to have this conversation with him alone.

So, they walked down past the bench and onto the beach. They had been down there so many times and Alex had always loved it best at night with the moon bright and high in the sky above. Maybe it was because her mother always worried about her being swept away or maybe it was just because it was so peaceful. Whatever it was, it was her favorite part about being home in Midvale...her favorite place at least.

"I should have just taken you…"

Alex looked over at him, confused at what he meant.

"To Peru...to wherever you wanted to go…"

"You and Mom had your reasons…"

"But to a young teenaged girl, it must have seemed like the best adventure...and we as parents should have known that we wouldn't have long until you rebelled and decided that family vacations were not cool," Jeremiah said. He was quiet for a minute. "Did you ever go?"

"No," Alex said quietly. "Mom was more...cautious when it came to Kara and I…" She shrugged. "And then I rebelled because I was so angry at the world…"

"I'm sorry, Alex…"

And as she stared at him, she knew he was.

He held out something then. "I still don't remember much, but I know enough to know that these should be yours… I used them like a journal…"

The postcards.

They were bundled up and tied neatly.

Alex accepted them and held them to her chest.

"So, even though you weren't right there next to me...it's sort of like you were…"

"Thank you," Alex whispered and felt this overwhelming emotional swirl hit her. She held the postcards to her chest with one hand and then stepped forward and wrapped her other arm around her father. "Thank you."

"You didn't have a passport then…"

"What?" Alex asked as she pulled back and stared at him.

"When you first brought up the trip, you didn't have a passport…"

She just stared at him for a long moment. "No… It was one of the reasons Mom said we had to wait," Alex told him slowly.

"I was a crappy tutor back then…"

A smile spread across her face because all she could think was that he remembered. She didn't care if it was just a five minute conversation.

He remembered.

He remembered _her_.

"No, you were great," she insisted.

"No...believe me, I was really...really bad." She just laughed and found herself being pulled into a hug. "But you turned out so beautiful and smart...just the same," Jeremiah told her.

"And I went to college and learned Spanish."

"Good girl."

* * *

TBC…


	4. Back to Before

"You okay?"

Alex looked back to see Kara standing there. "I just...I wanted to be outside…"

Kara sat down next to her in the sand. "Being outside in National City isn't quite like this…"

The sound of the ocean, the sand beneath her, and the wind blowing her hair, Alex missed this, but at the same time...she loved her life in National City. "It still feels like a dream."

"Jeremiah?"

"Yeah."

"You were talking in your sleep."

Alex looked over at her sister. "What did I say?"

"You were crying at one point-"

"That's why you were in bed beside me this morning…"

Kara just smiled at her. "You used to do it for me," her sister said. "And it's been so long since I heard you cry in your sleep… I just figured that you didn't need to be alone...because you're not." Their eyes met and smiles crept up. "So, he gave you the postcards?" Kara asked, changing the subject.

Alex handed the bundle to her sister. "He wrote on the back of everyone...like a journal entry...explaining the journey and what it looked like...the beauty of it…" She pushed her hair back out of her face. "All those years...he was writing them for _me_. He didn't know he was, but-"

"Does he remember?"

"He remembered a moment…"

"But that's good, right?"

Shrugging, Alex looked out at the ocean, the sun was still making its way upward in the sky. "I don't know…"

"You're afraid he'll go back to Peru."

Looking back to Kara, she sighed. "I'm more afraid about how Mom might take it… It's been over _ten years_ , Kara… We finally got him back, but what if he doesn't _choose_ to stay?"

"Then we'll be _here_...for Eliza...and I will _always_ be here for _you_ , Alex," Kara told her sister as she wrapped her arm around her sister, set the postcards in her lap, and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "We'll figure out how to get through this... _together_." They sat there quietly for a long time. "I know that you like to keep things inside...to be the _strong one_ , but Alex...I'm _your sister_...and this is _our family_ … You should know better than _anyone_ that we can get through anything, as long as we're in it _together._ "

And Kara was right.

"El-may-arah," Alex whispered as she wrapped an arm around her sister and her head rested against Kara's. The two of them just sat there watching the sunrise as the waves crashed against the shore.

* * *

"Are you packing?"

Her father looked over at her. He'd been staying in the guest room because that's where he'd felt the most comfortable and he still didn't remember that much. "I…" Jeremiah started and then sighed. "Yes. I am actually…"

Alex just nodded. "Have you told Mom?"

"Actually...yes…"

"Kara?"

"Yes."

Alex just stared at him. "But not me?"

"I was going to, Alex...because I'm going to need your help getting back down to Peru…"

"Max," Alex whispered and then turned away. She sucked in a breath. Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to push her emotions back. She'd hoped that this wasn't going to be how it was going to end, but she'd agreed that she'd let him go if that was his choice. "Right...uh, I'll call and try to make that happen…"

"Alex, it's a little more complicated than just having your...friend...fly me down to Peru," Jeremiah continued.

Sucking in a deep breath, she looked over at her father. "You're right, you should really have a passport, some kind of identification and money… I'm not sure how you survived down there for all these years without it."

Jeremiah shrugged. "I don't mind the easy life…"

He was right.

Her father had never been one for needing luxury or more than he thought he needed. "It would make me feel better," she pushed forward and put on a smile for him. Inside though, she was breaking. This had been her second chance with her father and it was gone… He'd only been there a few days and he was already leaving. Were they really that bad? Alex couldn't even wrap her head around the fact that he couldn't regain his memories...they'd been trying to jog it in every way...and there had been bits...but nothing major.

"Alex, I-"

"I should go make the call," Alex said, unable to keep her composure any longer. She turned and headed to her room. It was the closest sanctuary she had in the house. Alex shut the door and pressed her back against it.

It didn't come suddenly, but it did come all at once when Alex was certain that her father wouldn't be able to hear her break down. She slid down the door and just let it all out. It felt like she'd just been told that her father wasn't coming home...again.

She reached up and ran her fingers over the smooth surface of her locket. Her head pressed against the door and she stared up at the ceiling as tears slid from her eyes. She still had family, she mentally reminded herself. "El-may-arah," Alex whispered and closed her eyes. No matter what happened with her father she was always going to have her mother, Kara, and J'onn. They were so important in her life, it was just the 'what ifs' and the missed moments over the past decade that were killing her soul.

* * *

"Alex? Sweetie?"

She tried to ignore her mother knocking at the door. Time had passed, but she didn't know how much. She didn't care. Alex had just needed to be alone and to grieve losing her father again. She'd promised her father, but this was still heartbreaking.

"Alex? Answer me."

The tone that her mother was giving her was enough that she knew that she needed to open the door, her mother was getting concerned. She scooted to the side and reached up to turn the doorknob and pull the door open enough that it would start to open on its own. Alex had her knees to her chest and she looked up as her mother looked down at her.

A sigh escaped her mother's lips as she took a step into the room and then closed the door. She sat down alongside Alex, there was concern and worry written all over her face. "I'm sorry you were the last to know," her mother said quietly. "I...I couldn't beg him to stay, Alex… I love him. I've missed him so badly over the last decade, but I always had this comfort that I had never truly lost Jeremiah...because everyday...I always saw him in you."

"I'll call Max and I'll arrange things...I just...I needed to break down."

"You deserve that and your father understands, I think that's why he wanted to tell you last...he feels guilty for not wanting to stay here with us," her mother told her. "But we can't keep him if his heart isn't here...if his heart isn't with us…"

"I know," Alex whispered. "And I promised-"

"You had hoped that he would remember…"

"Didn't you?"

"Of course," Eliza said as she put an arm around her daughter and pulled her close. "When I first knew he was coming home...that you'd found him...all I could think was that you and Kara had almost been lost to us this year...that it was some sort of sign. I kept thinking that he'd be so proud of you both. I kept thinking that the house would be familiar...it has to be, right? I never change it…"

Alex smiled at that. "Growing up, I never understood why you didn't change things…"

"I guess it didn't really do us any good, did it?"

Staring at her mother, she sucked in a breath before blowing it out. "He was doing good things in South America," Alex pointed out, trying to be positive. "At least now he knows who he is, right? He'll have met us and have spent time with us? Maybe he'll remember more? But at least we know where he is now? That he's alive?"

"There's something so heartbreaking about the distance…"

"Are you going to be okay when he goes?" Alex asked seriously, watching her mother the entire time. She was concerned about her mother breaking down and not being able to function. Of course she knew her mother was strong, but wasn't this something that could break a person? Alex knew that it was testing _her_.

"I don't know," her mother told her truthfully with a shrug. "But what _else_ can we do but be okay?"

* * *

The goodbye was the hardest part.

All her life all she'd wanted was to properly tell her father goodbye, to tell him all the things that she'd never said before, and to make sure that he knew he was loved. Here she had done just that and it hurt so much worse.

Max had arranged for her father to have a passport sped through and had arranged one of his jets to take her father back down to Peru. It had all gone by quite quicker than she'd expected. She'd expected it to take at least several days, so that maybe it would give her father time to change his mind.

But he didn't.

He left.

"You okay?"

"No."

"Alex-"

"I have promises to keep," Alex told her sister as she turned her back to the airfield and the retreating jet and headed for the SUV. Her mother had already said goodbye back in Midvale and hadn't been able to bring herself to come to National City to say goodbye and Alex honestly didn't blame her. She almost wished that she'd done the same thing. "And miles to go before I sleep," she whispered to herself.

* * *

"Alex-"

This was a mission and she wasn't sure if she could make it through the rest of the day if she stopped. There was so much on her mind that she needed to do. Things that would be difficult in different ways. But she ignored J'onn and continued towards the holding cells with Kara on her heels (and likely J'onn).

"Alex, wait," Kara said.

But she didn't stop.

Her sister had been the one to lock Max up this time, but Alex was going to be the one to release him. He'd done as he promised and she just didn't want him there at the DEO. She wanted things to go back to normal. Alex wanted to be able to go to work at the DEO and not think about how Max was in one of their cells. There was also the fact that he'd already disappeared for a month not long before, they didn't need to raise any more red flags.

Stomping into the room, she used the controls to open the doors and then stood to the side and motioned towards the door where Kara and J'onn were standing. "You're free to go."

"Alex," Max said as he stepped out of the cell. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Not today," she told him. Alex was certain that he wanted to talk about them or her father and she just couldn't. She wasn't ready. She didn't know if she would _ever_ be ready. She bowed her head and held onto the cell door, holding it open. "Go, Max."

"But Alex-"

"Go!" she shouted at him as she lifted her head to look at him.

He didn't seem phased by her shout. "What if I decide I like it here and want to stay?"

Before Alex could reply, Kara was intervening, grabbing him, and guiding him out of the room. Alex just couldn't deal with his mind games or Max in general in that moment. Too much had happened in such a small span of time.

"Alex," she heard J'onn whisper her name.

When she finally turned to look at him, he was pulling her into his arms. She let go of the cell door and held onto him. Alex was certain given his ability for telepathy that he knew all of the things that she was thinking and feeling, possibly better than she was. Before she'd lost her father in an apparent plane crash and now all she could think was that it was so much worse because he'd basically chosen to abandon them.

"You could have gone with him," J'onn whispered. "There's still time."

"No," Alex told him. "He made his choice… He doesn't remember us enough-"

"He had his reasons for going. There was a purpose in Peru and coming here to you, Kara, and Eliza remembering this other version of him must have been hard for him to live up to."

When she finally pulled away, she couldn't bring herself to look back up at him again. She put her hands on her hips and was trying to contain her feelings. Her father had just left their family again and she'd had to push away Max. Though, Alex supposed it wasn't really pushing if it was because of him not knowing how to properly communicate.

"You still love him."

J'onn's words caught her by surprise and she looked up at him. "My father?"

"Well, of course you love your father," J'onn said brushing it off. "You have loved Jeremiah Danvers every day of your life, Alex, but that's not what I meant."

Alex made a face. "Max?" Mainly she was worried that these feelings that apparently even J'onn was picking up on were real feelings and weren't just lingering after effects from the brainwashing from the White Martian.

"Just be careful with that one, he will do what it takes to survive."

And Alex knew J'onn was right.

They just stood there for a few more minutes before they headed back towards the control area. Alex gave a nod of acknowledgement to Benanti and Adler as they passed them in the hallway. She'd thought that they could just distract her with work, maybe Vasquez would have a lead on something that wasn't too involved. Alex was fine with a 'probably nothing' call that just needed checking out, which always turned up to be nothing. She just needed the distraction and the thought that she was doing something worthwhile.

"I thought your mother stayed in Midvale?"

Alex turned, following J'onn's eye line. There, off to the side, was Kara with her mother. "She did…"

"Well, she's here now."

"I don't know why," Alex muttered as the two of them approached.

It wasn't her mother's actual presence that confused Alex as she moved closer, but her mother's appearance. She was wearing clothes that Alex had seen her in before, but it just didn't look like an outfit she normally wore when she visited them in National City. Her mother had known when the jet was leaving with Jeremiah, so why come so late? She had to have known that she had already missed the flight.

"Mom?" Alex asked.

J'onn apparently sensed what was coming. "I'll leave you-"

"No," her mother said as she extended her hand, gently touching J'onn's arm. "Please...just stay. I'll only be a minute anyways." She was quiet at first and looking between Alex and Kara. "I'm going to be leaving...going on a trip...and I don't know how long I'll be gone…"

This was what Alex had worried about. Her father's leaving breaking her mother. "Mom, you know you don't have to go-"

"I'm going to Peru, Alex," her mother stopped her. "I talked to Jeremiah about it before when he said he was going...and it took me this long to decide that it's the right thing to do...at least for now." She smiled at them both. "He is the love of my life and maybe he doesn't remember that yet...but I have to give him a chance to remember it...and plus, I can do some good with him…"

"When are you leaving?" Kara asked first.

"Now. I'm heading to the airport straight from here," Eliza responded.

Alex wasn't sure what to say. Both of her parents were up and going. She just moved forward and hugged her mother and held her for a moment. "You're sure you have everything? Passport? A phone that'll actually work down there?" When she pulled back, she looked at Kara, who looked like she was barely holding it together.

"I have it all and I've e-mailed you my contact information," Eliza promised. "I just wanted to see you both before I left," she said gently. She turned and hugged Kara. "You two look out for each other...eat something other than pizza, potstickers, and ice cream." Kara laughed into the hug and then pulled back. Her mother turned to look over to J'onn. "I expect that you'll watch our girls while I'm gone."

"I will," J'onn promised.

"They're a lot to manage sometimes," Eliza teased.

"We've made it this far."

Her mother turned her concern and attention to her. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Alex said with a nod. She was sad, but this gave her some hope...for both of her parents. "Just don't forget to call us…"

"I won't."

She hugged her mom again. "I love you." Kara was pulled into the hug and she heard her sister echo her statement before her mother repeated it.

As her mother walked away, she heard J'onn whisper a reminder. "It's not too late, you could join them."

Alex was holding onto Kara's hand and she turned her head to look at him. "No, my place is here…"

* * *

"Alex? Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Are you thinking about them?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you wishing that you'd gone with them?"

Alex rolled over to face Kara. It had been hard after her mother had left (especially since it came only hours after she had to watch her father leave...again), so Alex had gone to Kara's and hadn't gone home. The bedroom was lit enough that she could see Kara's bright eyes staring back at her. She adjusted the blankets and just let out a sigh.

"I know my sister like I know my own mind," Kara reminded.

Alex smiled at that. She felt the same way. Kara was the one who was so trusting and kind. "I'm not regretting staying here… I'm not," she whispered sadly. "I'm glad that I stayed...and what would you done if I'd gone?" she teased. It was the only way that she really knew to brush off the sad feelings even though she knew that Kara would see right through it.

"I love you," Kara whispered. "More than anything in this life."

"And I love you," Alex replied whole heartedly. For Kara, Alex had always chosen her sister's happiness over hers every time...and she'd continue to do so. That wasn't why she'd stayed, though. She'd stayed because she didn't think that she could handle that life with her parents in Peru and honestly...they deserved to have that time to try to reconnect and possibly rekindle what they had. So much had happened over the last couple of months and Alex just couldn't bear to bare her heart any more. She knew that it and she were safe with Kara and with J'onn in National City.

"We could have ice cream?"

Alex laughed at that. "You're always hungry…"

"You know what you want to share…" her sister said brightly. Kara didn't even wait for a response and bounced out of bed and headed for the kitchen.

Alex sat up on her side and pulled the quilt with her, her arms wrapped around her legs as she stared at a picture of them with her mother on Kara's bedside. Kara came back with the container and two spoons. "You know it has to sit out for a few minutes first."

"I will happily eat it whether it's at the proper squishy texture or not," Kara reminded seriously.

Alex just smiled as took the offered spoon.

Kara sat with her back to her, their backs touching and leaning against each other for support. "You know we should do something fun."

"Like what?"

"Remember when we were growing up and we tried to convince Eliza to let us go to a convention?"

Alex beamed. "There was always one around both of our birthdays and we didn't even care what kind it was...we just wanted to dress up and go…"

"And she'd always dramatically sigh and then go on about how she didn't think it was appropriate…" Kara laughed and held the carton out for Alex to take a spoonful. "Don't worry...I hit it with like blink…"

Alex took a spoonful and savoured the flavor of the icy treat in her mouth. Even though she really hadn't been hungry, this was just too perfect.

"Gallifrey One is coming up…"

* * *

The End.


End file.
